2020-02-05
五分飞艇技巧 国表也有段子手:保索大业,红军已经尽力了!

幼友人们行家益,迎接来到每周的“国表也有段子手”!上周的国际赛场精彩望点习以为常,曼联主场与利物浦战平,巴萨取胜升至榜首,皇马、马竞、拜仁纷纷丢分,而切尔西、曼城、尤文等朱门则顺当取胜。益了,话不众说,让吾们快来望望歪果仁们精彩吐槽吧!

拉师傅拉拉纳进球,曼联1-1利物浦

ZxZxchoc(未知主队球迷):为了留住索尔斯克亚,利物浦已经尽力了…(Liverpool doing all they can to keep Ole in place.)

Hamez_Milnerinho(未知主队球迷):也能够算是利物浦这赛季的高光时刻了!(And giving them their season's highlight as well.)

Estoutwest(曼城球迷):为了不让索帅下课,利物浦献祭了珍贵的两分,值得尊重!(Liverpool sacrificing 2 points to keep Ole at the wheel , respect.)

Nickoboosh(利物浦球迷):你们也得回敬这份礼才益呢!(Would be appreciated if you returned the favour.)

KapSan1(巴萨球迷):在这球之前五分飞艇技巧,拉拉纳都已经两年半异国进球了…克洛普这换人真是先天!(Lallana of all people, scoring his first goal in two and a half years and it had to be in this game. Klopp with another master sub lol.)

9039039(喀麦隆球迷):现在就等弗雷德进绝杀球啦!(This is setting up nicely for a winner by King Fred.)

HelpMyArmsFellOff(未知主队球迷):克洛普绝对是宇宙级的大脑!把拉拉纳晾在一面益几年五分飞艇技巧,就是为了今天的进球!(The absolute galaxy brain move of keeping Lallana around for years just for his moment.)

SurreptitiousNoun(利物浦球迷):特制版的奥里吉!(The Origi special.)

Diffios3(巴萨球迷):益了五分飞艇技巧,你不要再说了...(Oh stop please…)

Holdthesis(曼联球迷):这就是老特拉福德,任何球队都别想在这边全身而退!包括吾们本身。(So this is the Old Trafford, everyone would got sucked here, including us.)

Masonbrit(切尔西球迷):罗霍在场上就像是在购物商场迷路瞎逛的幼孩儿相通…(Rojo looked like a child lost in a shopping center wandering aimlessly.)

DarkSofter(曼联球迷):想象一下,你们竟然和派弗雷德出场的保级球队踢平…(Imagine drawing to a relegation team who plays Fred.)

IanCaesars(利物浦球迷):但你们有超级替补马丁-阿特金森啊!(Martin Atkinson was a good sub though.)

MSG齐进球,巴萨3-0埃瓦尔

Bola03(皇马球迷):据荷马史诗记载,巴尔韦德是个益教练。(According to Homeric Hymns, Valverde is a good coach.)

SquirtSprite(巴萨球迷):还没益透!(Not that good.)

YourPupilsDilated(尼日利亚球迷):格列兹曼容易的触球,就像在和妹子羞羞之前提逗幼豆蔻相通…(Griezmann flicking that ball the way you flick your girl's bean when you are trying to warm her up.)

Sleepsholymountain(巴萨球迷):早晨5点45首来就为了望格子踢球,效果脱离房间才10秒格子就进球了…(Woke up at 5:45 AM to watch him and then this happens when I'm out of the room for 10 seconds.)

upvote-me-ya-bish(巴萨球迷):苏牙:“闭上你的眼睛~”梅西:“吾只能望到一片虚无…”苏牙:“那就是吾异国你的世界,西。”(Suarez : Close your eyes. Messi : i see nothing. Suaeez : thats my life without you bro.)

mmalk2405(未知主队球迷):内马尔哭晕在角落。(Neymar crying in a corner.)

CruyffsPlan(巴萨球迷):“吾是里奥-梅西,吾有6座金靴奖杯,但吾并不喜欢进球。”("I'm Lionel Messi and I have 6 golden boots and I don't even like scoring".)

Immolxte(未知主队球迷):有点像勒布朗-詹姆斯,即使末了成为NBA得分王,人们记住更众的照样他的传球…(kind like how Lebron might end up top in the NBA scoring charts and he’s more known for his passing.)

奥利奥染红,皇马0-1马洛卡

JurijFedorov(西班牙球迷):维尼修斯望首来是个极益的球员,就是从来都没踢过球。(Vinicius looks like an extremely good footballer who have never played before.)

HighlyAdorable13(皇马球迷):和奥利奥相比,库尔图瓦也算是很不错的引援了…(Courtois has been a far better signing than Odriozola.)

Gnorrn(未知主队球迷):有异国人通知皇马,固然你们往了马洛卡,但这次真的不是往度伪的…(Someone should tell Madrid that, even though they're in Mallorca, they're not actually on holiday.)

MacSyphilis(未知主队球迷):皇马和巴萨互相虚心西甲榜首,就像上赛季阿森纳、曼联和切尔西虚心争四相通…(Real and barca just handing each other the la liga title like arsenal, utd and Chelsea last season with top 4.)

Bork_Lazer96(曼联球迷):皇马现在答该很庆幸国家德比推迟了…(Real is probably glad that Clasico is postponed right now.)

Iamthepkn(皇马球迷):真期待踢添拉塔萨雷的比赛也能推迟啊!(I seriously want the Galatasaray match to be postponed too.)

AppropriateName_(皇马球迷):夜幕下的齐达内睡着了。在梦里,皇马为他签下了坎特。(Zinedine Zidane goes to bed at night and dreams of N’Golo Kanté at Real Madrid.)

SeparatePrice(未知主队球迷):倘若齐祖真的很想执教坎特、博格巴和姆巴佩的话,那在克莱枫丹有个更正当的位置等着呢!(If you really want to manage Kante, Pogba and Mbappe, there's a nice job at Clairefontaine for you.)

CameronReddish(未知主队球迷):吾不常望足球哈,想问下C罗现在怎么啦?是受伤了照样离队了?(I don’t follow soccer much: What happened to Cristiano Ronaldo? Is he hurt or is he off the team?)

ararar262626(未知主队球迷):他现在往打篮球了!(He plays basketball now.)

阿隆索进球,切尔西1-0纽卡斯尔

AnittaSupervisor(未知主队球迷):握日哦,每次吾换台往望其他比赛,刚换行的比赛就会进球!(I swear whenever i switch stream to another game, the past game has a goal. fuck me sideways.)

MartinD738(切尔西球迷):你能不息换台吗?吾们还想进个球!(Keep switching pls we want another!)

炎苏斯席尔瓦进球,曼城2-0水晶宫

FappinOnYerNexus(皇马球迷):曼城这套球衣的配色,让吾还不如望暗白电视呢!(This Man City away kit makes me wish I had a black-and-white TV.)

KapSan1(巴萨球迷):第87分钟范安霍尔特差点就复制博阿滕的经典一摔了,怅然就是斯特林的射门没进啊!(Van aanholt impersonating that boateng fall in the 87th minute lol. It was a shame Sterling didn't score that chance.)

Viremia(利物浦球迷):吾觉得下周瓜瓜要让斯特林往踢中后卫了!(Pep's gonna have Sterling playing CB next week.)

C罗皮亚尼奇进球,尤文2-1博洛尼亚

ZweC(皇马球迷):C罗进球的刹时皇马却丢球了,这难道是巧相符吗?吾可不这么认为。(Ronaldo scores as soon as Madrid go down. Coincidence? I think not.)

Iamthepkn(皇马球迷):自然不是巧相符,由于皇马不息在丢球。(Real Madrid conceding a goal is not coincidence, it is inevitable.)

补时遭绝平,拜仁2-2奥格斯堡

Mihmed146(未知主队球迷):这是炎刺的诅咒么…(The curse of the Spurs.)

DemetriusXVII(拜仁球迷):扛着拜仁和波兰行了这么众年,莱万的脊背肯定是钢铁做的…(Lewandowski must have a back of steel after carrying Bayern and Poland day in and day out.)

The_TaxmanRC(拜仁球迷):添纳布里就是长头发的罗本!(Gnabry is just a Robben with hair.)

ValverdeLover(未知主队球迷):毕竟是阿森纳名宿啊!(Arsenal legend.)

科斯塔进球,马竞1-1瓦伦西亚

nanashi100(未知主队球迷):倘若梅西是西蒙尼调教出来的,那他答该会往踢中后卫吧…(Imagine Messi being trained by Simone lulz would play at CB.)

益了,钦佩益的幼友人们,本期的“国表也有段子手”就为行家播报到这了。本周,精彩欧冠赛事又将重燃战火,让吾们拭现在以待,来望下期歪果仁们更添精彩的犀利吐槽吧!

商报讯(见习记者项凯)最近,一部讲述明朝初年国家开创盛世的大型历史剧《大明风华》一经播出即引发超高热度,与此同时,据国内知名新锐科技媒体砍柴网报道,该电视剧原著有声小说《六朝纪事》在懒人听书同步掀起收听热潮。那么,作为有声阅读APP,以怎样的特点能吸引受众?有声阅读又包含了怎样的付费机制呢?

福建男篮发布海报,击败广厦男篮“开启新时代”

  各省、自治区、直辖市农业农村(农牧、畜牧兽医)厅(局、委),新疆生产建设兵团农业农村局:

2003年非典疫情治理工作进入到收尾阶段时,北京市曾出台9项政策,对零售餐饮、旅游旅店、娱乐服务行业等进行了税费缓缴、房租减免、员工薪资借支等应急措施。显然,这对受到冲击的北京经济复苏起到了保障作用。

据北京国安跟队记者潘宠的消息,费尔南多在处理好签证事务后就将归队,下赛季将大概率留在国安。